Does my bum...

"Hey, Lulu," Cynthia Mummy-Longlegs greeted her bestie as they shopped along the Hawthorn bushes for aphids, "you looking forward to the Flying Bug Ball tonight? Everyone’s excited, it’s the last one before we hibernate for the winter."

Lulu Ladybird looked up, "Oh, hi, Cynth, didn’t see you there."

"I know," Cynthia giggled, "I blend in so well with these brown twigs and thorns."

"But you do look thin and fabulous," sighed Lulu, "and that's why I'm too depressed to go to the Ball."

"Why are you so down?"

"Look at me, fat as Freddie Frog, however much I diet. It’s all these aphids, can’t resist them. I'm doing my best, sticking to a green fly diet. I've been so good and not eaten a big juicy fat fly for weeks but it’s not working. As soon as I turn up it'll become the Ugly Bug Ball."

"Come off it, Lu, with your scarlet coat and bold black polka dots you're the bee's knees!"

"You're only saying that because you're my bestie. Look at you, laid 300 eggs only a few weeks ago and already you've no sign of 'mummy tummy'. You're so slim you could be a catwalk model, with gossamer wings to die for, while I look like I've eaten the blessed cakewalk from here to the hi...

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Tony Spencer
May 17 2020

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